Another One More

Excerpt from Another One More...

Down on the Farm…

Cambodia, 2007

   Why is there such a voyeuristic fascination with evil in our world? Or is this simply something that only I perceive to be true? We say we abhor violence and murder yet we can’t quite get enough of the two through video games, movies, books, and collectibles. In other words…We live secret macabre lives of denial. I’m no different.

   I distinctly remember going to a gun show a few years back where merchants were hawking Nazi memorabilia. I can still recall looking at various insignias and pins with an ambivalent state of mind. On the one hand, it was incredible to hold history in my hands, and on the other, it was utterly evil and bizarre. The same is true with ivory, which can be carved into something beautiful while simultaneously representing a hideously unnecessary tragedy. Dichotomies like these exist everywhere in the world and Cambodia is no stranger to the concept. We all understand the carnage and heartache caused by landmines, yet there’s something strangely intriguing about visiting a land mine museum. I know because I visited one. Perhaps it’s the dark side of our human nature bubbling to the surface?

   I stumbled once more into this murky, double-standardized realm of thinking while walking through Siem Reap’s Old Market district. I like to think that I’m a historian. And sometimes historians revel in the macabre. In this case, the actual artifacts weren’t macabre, but rather the meaning behind them. I somehow got it into my head that I needed to locate and purchase Khmer Rouge money. I don’t even remember what actually planted the seed in my head, but I soon was on a quest. I just had to have a few samples. I had previously come across examples here and there in various markets throughout Cambodia, but had never actually thought about purchasing any bills. Hawkers were constantly trying to peddle “old” Khmer dollars, but the Khmer Rouge dollars, used exclusively between 1975 and 1979 are rather rare. And also very taboo. Much like going to Israel and inquiring as to where a person might find authentic SS uniforms. Not the most tasteful thing to do.

   In the end, the historical collector in me won out and I began to search for these rare pieces of colored paper…Of course today, the bills have zero monetary spending value. The bills value exists only in a historical context.

   After talking with dozens of shopkeepers peddling the “old” Khmer money, I finally located a shop which carried Khmer Rouge notes. The bills were relatively expensive, but the novelty of the chase overcame me and I purchased a few bills. In fact the fever ran so strong; I decided to purchase several more bills the following day.

   I wish I could say the mission ended there…But it didn’t. When I returned to the capital of Phnom Penh I managed to locate a full set on the down low at the Central Market for much less than what I had paid in Siem Reap. After returning to my hotel that afternoon with the bounty, I felt a familiar tug of remorse…That ambivalent sense of right and wrong. Triumph and guilt. I felt that I had worked very earnestly and had truly succeeded from a collector’s standpoint, but at the same time, felt I was somehow glorifying evil. It might have been different had I been ignorant to what went on in Cambodia during the Khmer Rouge reign…But I’m not. The horror and murder was rampant and I was collecting souvenirs from that bloody era…Oh well, we all have to live with our guilt…Some of us a little more than others…

   The Khmer Rouge regime (a French tagline for Communist Cambodia) perpetrated a series of heinous acts upon its own people in the 1970s under the guise of agrarian reform. The resulting losses trimmed the population by at least a quarter and possibly a third, making the genocide one of the worst of the 20th century. Sadly, and this gives you some sort of an understanding to the consequences, a full 75% of the population today are too young to remember the atrocities committed during the 1970s.

   I’ll try my best to succinctly paint a picture of the horrifying events that ravaged the Cambodian countryside under the leadership of Pol Pot. On a side note, I highly recommend the flick The Killing Fields, starring Sam Waterston and Haing S. Ngor........